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Rejected Fiction: "Katie McCray"

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Below are the beginning paragraphs from a soft science fiction short story I recently retired to my hoard of rejected fiction. Anyone wanting to read the full story can follow the links at the bottom. I think the story would have been a better one if I'd stopped at 1500 words. The extra 500 words of padding I added to improve its marketability may have ruined it (Or maybe it wasn't that good to start!). Anyway, I enjoyed writing it and editing it, and that's what's important. Right?

Katie McCray by Tony Cox

The first time I saw Katie McCray, she was dancing naked in a moonbeam. The shine from the full moon of our new world pierced the forest canopy and, like a spotlight, lit that little stretch of riverbank as if it were day. With quick grace and moon-lit form, Katie weaved and whirled intricate patterns across the bright clearing while her upraised fingers snapped rhythmic beats into the warm night air.

Back and forth, Katie's erotic motion propelled a dark pendulum of long straight hair that alternately exposed and covered the soft, contoured shadows of her lower back and buttocks. While twisting and twirling her way, the nude woman laughed joyously at the homage paid by the lunar brilliance. And all the while, Katie's bare feet stomped a frenzied sonnet into the damp soil of our new world.

A poet, a teacher, and a vacation traveler, I walked the footpath along the river and paused in the clearing to admire her graceful beauty . . .

The pdf version: http://ztlcox.com/stories/KatieMcCray.pdf . My B&N Nook has a fractured pdf reader. The re-size and re-format doesn't work, and my story didn't play well on it, so I include a downloadable epub version: http://ztlcox.com/stories/KatieMcCray.epub .
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