I did a surprise party a couple of decades ago, won't repeat that mistake. Kathy grew up in this area and with her volunteer work, knows a lot of people. I thought it would be nice to rent a place and have a reception. She nixed that immediately. She was lukewarm about family dinners; I thought two were needed: one, her family and one in the Oklahoma City area, with my family and our son and his girlfriend. We'd do restaurants, so Kathy wouldn't have to cook. After thinking about it, she nixed those. For parity, she'd have to invite a couple of sister-in-laws, her side, that barely speak to her. Neither of us have a clue why.
Finally, she decided to invite some close friends, three couples, and cook Mexican Food with my help. We're cooking pork and chicken tacos with several new recipes from Rick Bayliss and Mexico-One Plate at a Time. It's tonight. I've been chopping and shredding and drying dishes most of the day, it seems. We will still do OKC, but that will be later or maybe this weekend.
I have her present, bought it weeks ago. And yes, I suggested, and she helped me choose. I'm not stupid.